Monday, July 20, 2009

Reassignment dream

I am finding that I wake up I am on the go and until my intuition tells me to write a dream, I won't.
Two nights ago I had this dream: I was in a somewhat arid desert that was windy and dark. I had the feeling that I was either in Mexico or middle Africa on assignment with the U.S. military to man a base; completing remedial but valuable tasks. It was terrifying.
Though I knew I was on earth, it felt other worldly. It was sand and canyon and mostly dark all year round. I was at the tail end of joining my team and was in training for my job. The job? Not sure. It included transporting small devices on our person (in full gear) out of the safety of our compound to a not so distant location. This job was accomplished on foot and we were surrounded by killer lions, tigers, elephants (which did not attack nor get attacked due to their size). The only thing keeping my team from being eaten alive once out of our compound was a flaccid chicken wire fence and some sort of laser gun. The different beasts would line up at the fence as we belly crawled and ran along to the next destination. The laser was literally a life saver! One direct beam and all the animals would cower away. It was exciting!!! I loved my job and the people I worked for felt like my family.
Also.....and it is a big also........there was one other gay man there working with us. I remember that we fell for each other in a brotherly way and everyone was ok with it.
Between job shifts we would escape to a concrete domed room and make out, and then some.
I was in love, had an exciting job, and got to wear a uniform all day. God! It was bliss!
I was under age in this dream. I was my age but under age. I wasn't old enough to drive and neither was my tall dark haired boyfriend. At some moment he talked me into driving him to another city where I would drop him off so he could meet his friends. So in a military canvas colored jeep I took him toward the sunrise and was stopped by other military to check ID. They found that I was not old enough and asked me if I knew what I had done was wrong.
The odd thing is that I suddenly became fully aware that I might suffer for my actions and confessed that I did know and take the punishment for it. The officers brought me into their office and a man behind the desk tore my work badge in half saying, "On this offense, one time is all it takes. We are reassigning you to our base here".
I was broken. I mean, just so depressed that I could not pull myself up. I was going to lose not just the excitement of my duties but every big brave friend I had made. I knew the distance would also cause me to lose my new guy friend. I was so fond of him.
I went back to say goodbye to everyone who had just become a huge part of my life. There was one short haired girl that had trained me. She was upset but held an upbeat posture. I told her how I was going to miss the lions that hunted us. She then said that she knew they were still around and would scare them out of the tunnels they hid in, waiting for us.
She then tossed a large bowling ball out and away from her. I then could see through the walls of the compound to observe the path it followed on the desert floor. I watched it dive in circles under the ground and up again; circle around again, repeating the pattern. I saw the spiral in the sand draw tighter as it dove down into the last cave. Three lions, almost cartoon like, came leaping out ahead of it this time. They were still there and I was just heart broken for losing it all over one mistake. I woke up.

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